


confidant.

by steelatoms



Category: Re-Animator (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Canon-Typical Violence, Carl Hill is An Asshole, Death, Emotional Baggage, Emotionally Repressed, First Kiss, Francesca is The Best, Getting Together, HIV/AIDS Crisis references, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Internalized Homophobia, Intimacy, M/M, Parental Death, Post-Movie: Bride of Re-Animator (1989), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sexual Tension, Terminal Illnesses, Torture, inappropriately timed makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 11:48:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23711032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steelatoms/pseuds/steelatoms
Summary: When Dan decides to move out once and for all, he and Herbert are forced to address the feelings between them.
Relationships: Daniel Cain/Herbert West
Comments: 8
Kudos: 51





	confidant.

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone, so this is my first fic in this fandom (i'm pretty new, but it's my current obsession during this lockdown), hope you enjoy!

Dan Cain was the only person in the whole world who Herbert West didn’t secretly loathe; tall, compassionate and not all that bright, the scientist cared about the doctor more than he could ever realise.

In many ways, Dan Cain was the only friend Herbert had ever had, and the truth was that it scared him.

Herbert West didn’t make friends, didn’t ever grow close to people -- it was too messy, too complicated and though he wanted to trust Dan, he couldn’t bring himself to confess any of the secrets he held dear to his heart.

Dan didn’t even truly know Herbert -- the bizarre, short man was an enigma to him and every time he thought he got close, there was another wall blocking him out. It was frustrating as Dan was someone who always wore his heart on his sleeve (often at his own peril), and had discussed his family, his love life and even his childhood pets with Herbert on the nights they weren’t obsessing over cadavers.

Dan _hated_ secrets; secrets helped destroy his relationship with Meg and whilst things were somewhat okay with Francesca, though he could palpably feel that fracturing too. He couldn’t lose anyone else due to the toxic bond he had with a man he didn’t trust anymore, especially since Herbert had lied so many times to him.

Herbert’s ‘creations’ tearing at them in a crypt still haunted Dan, and though he couldn’t find himself ever hating Herbert (he’d hate to admit it, but he’d grown fond of that smile, the way Herbert’s eyes lit up when he had a eureka moment, and the way he said his name), he couldn’t survive this anymore.

_“I’m moving out.”_ Dan announced, and it was something Herbert had heard before, so many times, but as he looked up from his anatomy textbook, he saw the finality in Dan’s gaze.

Of course, he didn’t take it well, _“Dan…_ You can’t leave! Not when we’re so close.”

“We’re no closer than we were when you created your rejects!” Dan cried, “Or that monster wearing Gloria’s face! Or even when you re-animated Hill. Admit it, Herbert. Your serum just creates evil.”

Herbert defended, “Hill was evil before the serum.” he set the textbook down, _“Danny,_ please.” he only ever used the nickname when he wanted something, and Dan had learned to see through that manipulation finally.

“I’m sorry, Herbert.” he began, “But I don’t trust you. You lied to me, multiple times and now we’re stuck in a shitty apartment because our house caved in because you couldn’t be honest with me.”

Herbert’s voice took on a pleading tone, “Then I’ll be honest. But Dan, we’re so close to it. I know it. I haven’t lied to you since.”

“Another lie.” Dan ran a hand through his hair, “You’ve been taking the reagent again. You said you’d stop, way back in Peru, but you’ve not slept in weeks. You’re an addict, Herbert. An addict to this stupid, crazy idea of yours.”

Herbert’s gaze fell, “Then I’ll stop.” when he looked back up, his eyes seemed huge and childlike, and Dan’s heart ached, “I’ll stop, but Dan. Daniel. Danny, _please._ I need you. I need your help.”

“Stop.” Dan could feel his usual urge to cave in rise in his gut, but he fought against it, “Herbert, just stop. I’m done.” he paused, “Maybe…” his voice wavered some, against his own accord, “Maybe things would be better if I never met you.”

Herbert’s eyes fell to the floor again, and for a second, it looked like the scientist was going to cry _\--_ Dan instantly felt bad, he had never seen Herbert in such a state before; eyes watery behind those obnoxiously cute glasses, lip pressed into a thin line to stop from trembling, hands fidgeting in his lap.

For a second, he wanted to hug the man and apologise, but then a bitter, wet laugh broke from Herbert and he swiped at his eyes, “You’re pathetic.”

“Oh, here we go.” Dan threw his hands in the air defeatedly, “Here comes the defensiveness.”

Herbert scoffed, _“Me?_ Defensive? That’s rich coming from the one running away.”

“I’m running because you are a dick who doesn’t care about anyone but yourself.” Dan retorted, “I mean, it’s not even about saving lives anymore, is it? I mean, maybe it was when you killed Gruber but--”

Herbert cut him off, actually yelling at him for the first time, _“Don’t you dare use Gruber against me!”_

“Oh, come on.” Dan snapped, “It’s not like you cared about him. You’re not capable.”

Herbert looked genuinely hurt, then flipped the discussion back onto Dan, _“I’m_ not capable? Didn’t take _you_ long to move on from Meg, did it?”

_“Don’t.”_

Herbert continued, rising from the chair to step into Dan’s space, “She was gone maybe four months before you went and _fucked someone else.”_

Dan had heard Herbert swear before -- an occasional muttered _‘shit’_ when one of his experiments went wrong, or one hilariously loud ‘son of a bitch!’ when one of his subjects had bit him -- but never had he said anything with such vitriol, and definitely never towards Dan. Where his other cussing had been a little bit funny, there was no humor here, no levity, just Herbert’s eyes bearing into his own and cruelly tearing into his soul.

“Megan was the love of your life.” Herbert continued, practically snarling at him, “You were going to marry her. And you move on so easily, with not only Miss Danelli, but Gloria too. Now what’s the common theme between those three?” he leaned closer so their faces were inches away as he delivered the final blow to Dan’s heart, “Two out of three are dead.”

  
Instantly, Dan grabbed Herbert by the collar and slammed him up against the wall so hard it hurt, _“Fuck you.”_ he spat, but his eyes were wet, “You fucking sociopath.” he tightened his grip, and leaned in, “You can find a new partner. I’m fucking done.” he was about to pull away, but Herbert’s hand touched his wrist.

Just one touch, and it felt like each of his frayed nerves were set alight, and suddenly, both men were aware of how close they were to each other. Dan was but a breath away from Herbert, their noses practically touching as their eyes met and their bodies were flush against each other.

It was a little claustrophobic, stuck between Dan and the wall, and Herbert’s back ached from the force of being shoved, but he couldn’t focus on the pain because his mind was too fixated on the faint smell of coffee on Dan’s breath. His hand trembled a little as it wrapped around Dan’s wrist, and a flush had risen over his cheeks.

Dan’s eyes were blown wide from the adrenaline in his veins, and unconsciously, his head moved forward, their foreheads touching as the sound of their heavy breathing was the only sound in the room.

Dan’s face being so close to his caused Herbert’s glasses to slip from his face and clatter onto the floor, and Dan’s heart jumped. He’d seen Herbert without his glasses before, but never like this, never so vulnerable.

  
They were so close that he noticed for the first time just how gorgeously green Herbert’s eyes were in the light of their living room, and when Herbert’s gaze fell to Dan’s lips, the doctor’s heart skipped once more.

Herbert wanted to _kiss_ him, and the most ridiculous thing was that Dan wanted to kiss him back. It made no sense, they had just been screaming at each other and Dan had wanted to _kill_ him for bringing up Meg, but here, now, he wanted nothing more than to kiss that stupid mouth of his and forget the world, forget their argument and forget Francesca.

_Francesca._ he suddenly remembered, _Fuck. Francesca!_

He pulled away, and Herbert slid down the wall, drawing his knees up to his chest as a haunted expression came over his face.

“I have to--” Dan choked out, looking down at his friend who fumbled around to grab his glasses, “I’m-- That wasn’t right.” he admitted, and Herbert looked up, holding onto his glasses with shaking hands but not speaking, “We shouldn’t-- I should--” Dan couldn’t speak, shaken up by the intimate moment he’d shared with Herbert, “I’ve gotta go grab my things.”

Herbert kept his knees up against his small body as Dan bolted out of the room, and as the doctor swiftly threw his belongings into a suitcase, he swore he could hear Herbert softly crying in the living room. For a second, he considered rushing to him and holding him, but his head won over his heart in the end as he rushed out of the apartment, paging Francesca as he did so.

  
As he waited on a bench for her, he let his mind wander, thinking about how he had wanted to _kill_ Herbert in that brief moment, and how as soon as their skin was touching, it changed. He thought of Herbert’s lips, pink and usually sounding out sarcastic digs or scientific facts and how he had wanted to kiss him so badly it hurt.

Dan wasn’t a stranger to relationships with men; he had a couple of flings back in college, but never anything serious, and now that he was a grown adult, he couldn’t risk that kind of exposure. His higher ups could decide he wasn’t fit to be a doctor and fire him, worried that he was carrying some dangerous sexual disease.

He’d seen it, gay and bisexual men shamed and dying over who they loved, and he couldn’t live that lifestyle. It was times like these he missed his parents, they were loving and understanding, and also were taken so soon, when he was only seventeen years old.

He wondered what happened to Herbert’s family, every time he brought it up, the scientist seemed squirrely, and underneath that anxiety, also kind of sad.

Before he could mull on it any longer, Francesca pulled up in front of him and he forced a smile as she waved.

_“Ciao!”_ she greeted, smiling as he loaded his suitcase into the car then joined her in the front, “I’m so proud of you, Daniel.” she beamed at him then pecked his cheek, which only made him feel worse.

* * *

Weeks passed, and aside from passing each other in the hallway, Dan and Herbert didn’t talk. Thankfully, their schedule worked around that, but that was only going to work for so long.

One of Dan’s new patients, a terminally ill man called Steve, suddenly had a Code Blue, so when Herbert rushed in with the cart alongside several other nurses, Dan tried not to panic as he began giving Steve CPR.

It didn’t work too well, as Steve continued to flatline and as his eyes flickered to Herbert, Dan completely forgot what he was doing.

“Doctor Cain, what are you doing?” one of the nurses chastised, and Dan flinched, looking back at the body as his hands laid flat on his chest.

Dan stammered, “I-- I don’t--”

“Move.” Herbert sighed, and nudged him out of the way, taking over, “Come on…” he bit his lip, and Dan couldn’t do anything but stare, “Nurse. I need the paddles.” Herbert said, and his eyes met Dan’s as he mouthed _what are you doing?_

Whilst his colleagues tried their best to save Steve’s life, Dan couldn’t help but watch Herbert as he grew more and more frustrated.

After a few minutes, when Steve didn’t reply, Herbert huffed defeatedly, “Right. I’m calling it. Time of death, two thirty-six. Can you ladies deal with this?” he disposed of his gloves, “I think me and Cain need to chat.” Dan still seemed miles away, but allowed Herbert to lead him to a supply room where they could chat in private, “What the _hell?”_

“I--”

Herbert cut him off, “You just froze up in there! You’re supposed to be a doctor.”

That hurt Dan’s ego a little, “I didn’t mean to--”

“Whatever.” Herbert sighed, “I can understand you not talking to me, but if you’re not going to be professional--” he was cut off by Dan cupping his face and slamming their mouths together, causing him to stumble backwards into a cabinet.

Dan instantly pulled away, guiltily, “Herbert, I--” but he too was cut off when Herbert initiated a second kiss, cupping the back of his head.

Herbert’s mouth was soft and warm, and though those pesky glasses bumped his nose a little, the soft moan that escaped Herbert was enough to make him bear it. They made out noisily against the cabinet, though there was something that made Dan believe that Herbert was holding back.

_“Wait.”_ he pulled away, “Are you-- You okay with this?”

Herbert’s cheeks were flushed red as he nodded, “Yes… but--” he sighed, then confessed, “I’ve never really… kissed anyone before.” Dan arched an eyebrow, intrigued and Herbert sheepishly looked down, “I never really connected with anyone… I mean, I never really was into-- I always felt like my attraction to men was a distraction. So here I am. Twenty five and never been kissed. It’s humiliating.”

“No it isn’t.” Dan tilted his chin up, “You have nothing to be ashamed of.” he kissed him gently, and the kiss grew, Herbert’s arms wrapping around his neck. When Dan pulled away for air, he confessed, “I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve tried, but I can’t.”

Herbert gave a small chuckle, “I can’t stop thinking about you either. It’s frustrating. I know science and anatomy, but emotions? I can’t deal with them.”

“Emotions _do_ suck.” Dan smiled, though his smile faded when he heard voices in the hallway.

Herbert sighed sullenly, “We should probably get back. I need to deal with Steve’s body.”

“‘Deal with’?” Dan looked confused, then it hit him, _“You don’t mean--”_

Herbert noticed the disdain in Dan’s tone and rolled his eyes, _“Oh, come on._ Dan, I’m close to figuring this out. I know it!”

“Jesus, West.” Dan hissed, “You don’t even care about getting caught anymore, do you?”

Herbert shrugged, “Perhaps in prison, I’ll be safer.”

_“‘Safer’?”_ Dan looked confused, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Herbert looked down, “Well… as I’ve been suspecting for a long time, Hill survived the destruction of our home. And he’s been sending me threatening letters.”

“Hill?” Dan arched an eyebrow quizzically, “Hill’s a decapitated head. How the fuck is he sending you letters?”

Herbert replied, “I don’t know. Perhaps with all the reagent that was there, he found himself a new body.”

“We have to stop him.” Dan looked concerned, “Call someone.”

Herbert scoffed, _“Oh yes,_ we’ll ring up the police and tell them I decapitated a man and now he’s stalking me. That doesn’t sound insane or anything. Really, Dan, you should be smarter than that.”

“Then-- then we’ll deal with it together.” Dan took his hands and brought them to his lips, “Please, don’t do this alone. What has he been sending you?”

Herbert looked as if he was about to confess, but changed his mind, pulling his hands away, “It doesn’t matter.” he announced, “I can deal with it.”

“By getting yourself arrested?” Dan looked mildly horrified at the concept.

Herbert suggested, “Or making an army of my own.”

“Herbert, that’s insane.” Dan sighed.

The scientist rolled his eyes, “Here we go again. Dan. I’m telling you, I can handle this. Now let me.” he pushed past Dan, but before he could leave the supply closet, Dan spoke up.

“If you try to take Steve, I’ll stop you.”

Herbert gave an amused huff at that, turning on his heel, “Just because you’ve decided to grow a spine doesn’t mean you’re capable of stopping me. Why don’t you just go back to Francesca, and leave me alone? After all, it _was_ your decision to go.”

“You didn’t tell me about Hill!” Dan defended, “Because you never tell me anything.”

Herbert retorted, “You think because we kissed that I’m going to spill my deepest, darkest secrets to you? I’m not a teenage girl, Cain. I won’t swoon to your every desire because I care about you.”

“I just want to know who you are.” Dan stepped forward and cupped his cheek, “I like you, Herbert. I _really_ do, and I hate this because I care about Francesca but I really, really care about you. I’ve told you about my parents, about the car accident, about Meg. I’m an open book, and I’ve given you everything. It’s only fair you tell me something.”

Herbert leaned into Dan’s touch, eyes cast downward, “What do you want from me?” he asked, voice small and wavering.

“I wanna know about your past, your relationship with Gruber, about your family--”

  
Herbert instantly pulled away, “I can’t.” he looked up at Dan, “You’d look at me differently.”

“No I wouldn’t, so please, just _tell me!”_ Dan begged, “Please.”

In the dim light, he saw tears shine in Herbert’s eyes as he shook his head, _“I can’t._ Now please, Dan. Go home, be with Francesca. I’m going to deal with this.”

_“Goddamn it!”_ Dan yelled, “Why don’t you fucking trust me?”

Herbert’s voice broke as he replied, “I do. _I do trust you._ I trust you like I’ve never trusted anyone in my life, believe that. But I can’t.”

_“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”_ Dan bitterly snapped, “I don’t believe you. I just-- I don’t believe you anymore.”

Herbert bit his lip, and a tear rolled down his cheek, instantly filling Dan with regret, but before he could say anything, the door opened, and one of the interns walked in.

She paused, looking at the two awkwardly as Herbert wiped his eyes then turned to face her, “Sorry, am I interrupting something?”

Herbert gave a forceful laugh, “No, it’s fine. I’m just heading home.” he looked up at Dan, “I’m not feeling well.” he pushed past the intern, and Dan followed after him.

“Herbert, wait up! You’re not going to the morgue, are you?” Dan asked.

Herbert replied, “I said I’m heading home, didn’t you hear?”

“Then I’ll come with.” Dan offered.

Herbert turned to face him, expression going hard, “I’m quite alright, Cain.” The tannoy suddenly rang _‘Calling Doctor Cain, third floor.’_ and Herbert faked a smile, “And besides, it seems you’re needed.” he turned away and left, and Dan watched as he walked away before sighing and heading back to his work.

* * *

After work, Dan sat in the apartment he shared with Francesca whilst she snuggled up to his stiff body, enraptured in the soap she was watching but also gauging his blank expression.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Herbert, about his lips, and despite how guilty it made him feel with his girlfriend curled into his side, all he wanted was to run and see him and to help him, nevermind how stubborn the man was.

There was something about his heartbroken expression when Dan mentioned his family that felt both gut-wrenchingly familiar and completely foreign, and he wanted to figure him out, to let him open up.

_“Daniel?”_ Francesca called, catching his attention, “You were miles away.”

Dan blinked a few times, then admitted, “Sorry, I was just thinking about Herbert.”

“Again?” she looked perturbed, sitting up, “I thought you were moving on.”

Dan frowned at that, “He’s been part of my life for nearly a year now.”

“And that’s been the worst year ever, no?” she asked.

Dan nodded, “But it wasn’t all bad. No, he’s got a decent side too. He’s occasionally funny, and when he’s thinking, he does this ridiculous little thing--”

_“God, Daniel!”_ she interjected, “The way you speak of him, it’s-- it’s as if you were in love with him!” Dan looked down, guiltily, and Francesca noticed, _“Oh.”_

Tears welled in his eyes as he mumbled, “I’m sorry.” he paused, “You think I’m disgusting.”

He didn't look up, afraid she was going to throttle or slap him, or even just give him the silent treatment -- he didn’t know which was worse.

To his surprise, she took his hand and softly replied, _“No._ I don’t think you’re disgusting.” he looked up at her, confused as tears streaked his face, “Daniel…” she sighed, “I’ve known for months. I suppose I simply lied to myself, wanted to-- I liked you. I really did. But I’ve felt this distance between us ever since the incident at the crypt. When you thought Herbert died, even after all he did, you were devastated. You were so happy when you found him. And you’ve been so unhappy here. Maybe you needed the break, I don’t know, but I think somewhere inside, there is a fundamental part of you that needs him.”

“I kissed him today.” Dan confessed, and saw the brief hurt flicker across her eyes, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t-- I never wanted to hurt you but now he’s in danger and I--” he hiccuped a soft sob, “I don’t know what to do, Francesca.”

She swallowed thickly, also tearing up as she wiped away his tears, “You go to him.” she said, “You go to him and you tell him how you feel.”

“But what about you?” Dan asked, “I hate this. I hate that I’m hurting you.”

She got up on her knees and pressed a kiss to his hairline, promising shakily, “I’ll be fine. But you should be happy. Now go.” she gave a small smile.

“Thank you.” Dan’s voice cracked a little as he got up, grabbing his coat and heading out, glancing back at her once more to return the smile.

* * *

By the time he arrived at Herbert’s apartment building, it was dark, but Dan didn’t care. He stood outside and pressed the intercom button, only to get no reply.

_“Damn it.”_ he muttered and shoved his hands in his pocket, fishing out the key to the apartment building which he had held onto for no reason other than sentiment.

When he was inside the building, he turned around only to scream in fright, caught off guard by something horrifying. Strewn into different pieces and lying on the floor was Herbert’s neighbour Carl, an elderly, sickly man who rarely caused any trouble other than making a noise complaint.

_“Oh, my God.”_ Dan whispered, unable to tear his eyes away and feeling nauseous, _“Hill.”_ he suddenly remembered, and broke into a sprint down the hallway to the open door of his former apartment.

He stepped inside, grabbing one of the metal baseball bats he had neglected to take with him when he left as defense. The lights were on, but it looked like the living room had been ransacked.

_Please be okay,_ he pleaded as he edged along the walls, stopping when he came across the coffee table which had several pieces of paper spread out on to.

Relaxing his stance a little, he picked up two of the pieces of paper, noting them to be death certificates.

The certificates read;

_‘Andrew Lucian West_

_DOB: 12/11/1941_

_DOD: 09/12/1969_

_Emily West (nee Jackson)_

_DOB: 01/02/1942_

_DOD: 09/12’/1969’_

Dan’s eyes flickered to the side of the paper, and he gasped shakily.

_‘Cause of Death: Incinerated via chemical-based fire’_

It was what was written below which brought tears to Dan’s eyes, however, and he covered his mouth to stifle the sob.

_‘Next of Kin: 8-year old son, Herbert West. Sent for psychological evaluation and in process of being sorted into foster care.’_

_Oh, Herbert._

No wonder he wouldn’t talk about his parents; losing them in such a horrifying way at such a young age would be traumatising, but it was what was written in red ink on another piece of paper that was even more upsetting.

_YOU KILLED THEM._

Hill’s writing, Dan remembered it still from class, but the angry words caused him to remember why he was in the apartment at all. He set the papers down and grabbed his bat again, beginning his search for Herbert and hoping he’d find him alive.

Thankfully, a muffled cry of pain garnered his attention and Dan followed the noise into Herbert’s makeshift laboratory in the spare bedroom. The place was a mess, beakers and vials smashed on the floor, but that all left Dan’s train of thought as he laid eyes on Herbert.

Herbert was tied to a chair with several of his workties, covered in gashes and bruises, his glasses crooked and cracked, tears cutting through the blood on his face. There was a tie stuck in his mouth, gagging him.

_“Herbert!”_ Dan rushed over, trying to keep his voice down as he ungagged Herbert and worked on the ties around his ankle, “Oh, my God. _Oh, my God!”_

Herbert whimpered, _“Dan…”_

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Dan cupped his cheek, untying his feet, “Can you walk?” 

Herbert nodded, sniffling, _“Hill, he--”_

“I know, I saw.” Dan tried to help him up, but Herbert stumbled back down.

He explained, “H-He’s still here. He’s looking for the f-- formula.” a sob escaped him, “Dan, I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Dan kissed his forehead, “You’re okay, you’re o--”

He was cut off by Herbert’s sudden cry of, _“Look out!”_ as Hill appeared, lunging at him with a knife.

The knife sliced into Dan’s shoulder, and he cried out in pain, falling to the floor, turning to get a good look at his attacker; Hill’s head had been surgically sewn to the body of another man, and it reminded him briefly of The Bride, with her _Frankenstein-_ looking mesh of limbs.

He couldn’t dwell on it as Hill stalked over him, “I look beautiful, don’t I?” the man laughed, “It seems your reagent makes nothing seem impossible. Do you think Megan would love me like this?”

“You’re a monster.” Dan spat, fumbling for the bat, which had fallen out of his hands.

Hill scoffed, _“West_ is a monster. He keeps up his insane experiments, whilst lying to you continually. He murdered his own family, you know.”

_“I didn’t mean--”_

Hill cut Herbert’s mumbled reply short, _“Gruber, too._ The man you felt was like a father to you.” Herbert flinched, “And now, Daniel. The man you’re in love with. _How sweet.”_ he smirked at Herbert’s shrivelled form, “The great Herbert West, a weeping _child._ You’re no scientist, you’re an infant playing with toys.”

As Dan began to rise, Hill knocked him back down with a brutal punch, instantly drawing blood. As Dan laid on his back, Hill put a foot on his chest, increasing the pressure until it was getting hard to breathe.

As Dan struggled, Hill laughed, “And here comes yet another death in the life of Herbert West. You really are such a was--” he was cut off when Herbert smashed the baseball bat so hard into his face, his head came rolling off, and the body clattered to the ground.

_“Fuck you.”_ Herbert spat, and Dan gasped and choked as the air came rushing back into his lungs. Herbert loomed over Hill for a few seconds before brutally bringing the bat back down, on both the head and the body repeatedly, _“Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!”_ he screamed as he battered Hill into a pile of mush, his voice breaking more and more each time.

Furious tears streamed down his cheeks and he didn’t even notice Dan rise up until the doctor’s arms soothingly encircled his torso, trying to avoid any potential injuries.

Dan’s hands ran up his arms and he murmured into Herbert’s ear, “It’s okay. It’s over. _He’s dead.”_

That was enough for Herbert to tearfully drop the bat before turning and throwing himself against Dan’s chest, sobbing into the crook of his neck and knocking his glasses off in the process.

They sunk down to the floor as Dan encouraged him, running his hands through Herbert’s hair and kissing his shoulder in an attempt to soothe him.

* * *

When Herbert was finally calmed, they went to sit on the sofa together, both battered and beaten but _alive,_ though as Herbert’s eyes scoured the papers in front of him, he gave a shaking, regretful sigh.

_“I didn’t mean to.”_ he began, “I was eight years old, and I hadn’t figured out that oxidizers could cause such damage. I left it for five minutes, but by the time I returned, it was too late, and I just ran.” his voice wavered as he repeated, _“I just ran.”_

Dan kissed the back of his hand, “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes it was.”

Dan shook his head, “You were a kid. You couldn’t have known.”

“I knew that Gruber had a chance of not coming back.” Herbert admitted, “But he volunteered. He volunteered and I let him die. I let him down.”

Dan shook his head, “Gruber cared about you.”

“How can you defend me?” Herbert looked like he was about to start crying again, “A-After all I’ve done to you, how can you possibly forgive me?”

Dan cupped his cheek, “Because I love you. And I know you have trouble with intimacy, and you haven’t ever done this before, but you listen. You’ve had your failures, but you’re a damn good doctor and a brilliant scientist. You’re not a completely terrible person, Herbert.” he repeated his sentiment, _“I love you.”_

Herbert was taken aback, even after everything he’d done, all the lies and pain, Dan still cared about him. Still _loved_ him.

_“I love you too.”_ Herbert replied, and it was the first time he’d ever said it to anybody in his life. He then thought of what held him back and asked, “What about Francesca?”

Dan replied, “Who do you think sent me?” he smiled wistfully, “She understood.”

“I underestimated her.” Herbert admitted, “So what is this? Are we, do we… I don’t…”

Dan leaned in close, “We’ll figure it out. Though we might have to call the cops and dispose of Hill. You should go to hospital.”

“Yeah.” Herbert smiled, “But I want to do something first.”

Dan smiled, “Anything you want.”

Herbert surged up, his mouth colliding with Dan’s as his arm looped around his neck. Dan kissed back with fervour, and in that moment, despite their injuries and all the death around them and the uncertainty of the future, he felt like he was truly home.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to follow me on twitter @wlwlauriestrode or tumblr @zaribehrad. also feel free to comment/leave kudos/subscribe.


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